My mother migrated from Peru with my father 30 years ago. She didn’t speak a word of English. While she took English classes at school, learning a new language at an older age was challenging. Her limited social circle made it challenging to integrate into Australian culture and community. My late father, however, was Dutch and spoke six languages. He was able to help by translating for her while shopping, at social gatherings or when they watched TV. With support from family, friends and the community, they adjusted well and eventually made Australia their second home.
"She would struggle to communicate in large settings and began to withdraw from social gatherings."
A few years ago, I sensed something was wrong with my mother. She would struggle to communicate in large settings and began to withdraw from social gatherings.
Mum was incredibly close with her sisters and her best friend from school, all of whom live overseas. Their primary form of communication was through social media. Over time, her conversations with them became shorter, and eventually she relied on me to contact them and relay updates.
I couldn’t understand why she avoided speaking with them directly. It wasn’t until much later that I realised her frustration came from being unable to hear properly. She avoided group conversations and only engaged in one-on-one interactions. I could see that her confidence was diminishing, and she relied heavily on me or my father to communicate and keep the conversation going.
This created a lot of frustration amongst my family for nearly 4 years, but my mother didn’t want to accept that there was a problem or seek help. Mum never wants to trouble anybody.
Asking for help
I observed that in social situations, Mum would lean on Dad to interpret what others were saying, or to respond for her in group conversations.
It was only after he passed away this year that Mum accepted help. Without him, she was feeling even more isolated.
The week my father passed, I encouraged my mother to go to the local Audika clinic in our neighbourhood for a hearing check.
“When she first sought help, she could hear instantly and couldn’t stop smiling. I’ll never forget the look on her face”.
Audika was so helpful to my mother during this challenging time in her life. When she first sought help, she could hear instantly and couldn’t stop smiling. I’ll never forget the look on her face.
Despite it being a very vulnerable time for our family, with Mum deep in grief at the loss of her husband, I could see some confidence and happiness return to her as she had the right assistance to manage her hearing loss
Seeking help enabled Mum to properly hear my father’s eulogy and all the words of support from my family when he died. I don’t know how she would have coped during that time had she not received support.
A new chapter
Since this breakthrough, the best outcome for my mother has been having meaningful conversations with her family and friends. While it’s been a hard time for our family, I have noticed how much happier my mother is now that she can hear so much better. She has even rediscovered her love for music. Mum enjoys listening to her favorite songs and incorporating light exercise into her routine while dancing to the music.
Interestingly, her English has also improved. She told me that watching television has helped her learn and expand her vocabulary—something I never thought would be possible.
I didn’t realise how much hearing loss had impacted her independence and enjoyment every day. She relied heavily on my father beforehand to translate, and at just age 85, she now has more confidence and independence for the next chapter in her life.
Our conversations are smoother, and I no longer have to raise my voice when we chat over coffee at the local café. She enjoys doing things again that she used to love doing, like going to musicals and concerts. Despite missing her life partner, she’s living a full and happy life which brings so much joy to our family.
